Looking Forward

 

Yesterday night I wasted time looking at apartments in Abdoun, Amman, Jordan.

 

My conclusion: I hope the apartment Daniel and I found and could have had if we had moved in January, will be available. I couldn't find it, but maybe they have a short term renter there and it will become available right when we move?

And life passes as it were in a dream... That is how I feel right now. The rollercoaster ride of emotions has been intense.

 

We are moving from our Garden of Sweden. I have been through my mourning before we even started telling others about it. It is a good thing, cause there are definitely people who think we should stay. But we know what we are doing is good for our family. We know why we are doing it too.

 

But sometimes the road is.... unpredictable. We have a buyer for the house.... but the contract signing was delayed. There was a problem that we have to figure out how it will be fixed and put it in a clause to the contract first.

 

Move out is set for the end of April.

We want to be in Jordan May 5 or 6.

 

There is incredible progress with the job Daniel will have there, but again, we don't have a contract.

 

We want to remain modest in our expenditures and live financially abundant. We have done a lot of research and discussing and feel like we are onto a good track.

 

We are going to sell doTerra, not just buy it. And I am looking forward to starting the Family Clubhouse once we move to Jordan. It feels like a lot of changes. Sometimes I am excited for it all othertimes I forget where my grounding is and I forget to breath deeply.

 

But when I look at everything and consider my life and my life's road I feel tremendous gratitude.

 

We had our Garden of Sweden for 5 years. We have a lot to look forward to. Prayers and dreams of the past are rising to the surface and being answered. Sometimes, we are reminded that, you asked for this back then, remember? Why does God remember and bless us so incredibly when we forgot? We were willing to do what He asked and set things aside. Now He say, it is time to resurrect those buried dreams. Time to go forward. Time for the next phase of growth, gratitude and happiness.

 

Our journey is incredible and not what we expected... but it is carried on one day, one step and one prayer at a time. If you had asked me 15 years ago, if I would have dreamed of living in Sweden? Getting ready to move to Jordan? Even 5 years ago... WHAT?! Jordan?! (I may not have been as surprised for a brief period about 8 years ago...but I still wouldn't have really understood.)

 

I guess it is good I am not sure everything that is ahead in my future now, cause that would have freaked me out then. All I know is I wanted to do what God wanted from me and I was willing to trust him and say I will go where you want me to Go. I am still doing that. And seeing the wonderful blessings that have been mine so far, increases my faith as I stay on this path... the Path of 'God is in charge, He know what is best for me and my family'.

 

So now: Countdown. Preparation. Planning. Praying. Living now, Enjoying now, but not losing the vision and always working towards it. Maybe that is how it should be as I look forward to my ultimate, eternal goals. Yes. It won't just be a word play, but there is an amazing mansion in the mansions of God awaiting if I hold on to the Savior and His promises and atonement. Looking at it from that vantage point, makes all the sacrifices along the journey so insignificant. Preparation. Planning. Praying. Living now, enjoying now, but never losing the vision and always working towards it.

 

Do Something More!

Right now it is shower time. Adam is asleep and Rebekah is watching a movie. So I need to take the chance. However, It is also a great time to write.


I just watched an overview about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Satints. The Mormons. My church, or rather the church I belong too. I really like how they (It is by our church) presented it all. I had just been reading in my scriptures about planting the seed of belief (Alma 32). But my thoughts turned to the church organization and how it has proven since 1830 when it was organized to be a good seed, by the growth and goodness of the members, organization and teachings at large.  Then I came and watched this video. And I felt again how it as an organization is a good seed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7o-ByARPf9w&feature=player_embedded

I especially loved hearing how the President of the Red Cross, explained that in disaster relief it is critical to mobalize large groups of people quickly, and no other organization is as good at mobilizing large groups of people quickly as the church.

We are a small number here where I live and I am not sure we could mobalize a large group of people, but the few active members here do a lot. And when we work with other organizations to promote good causes we can do even more.

There are so many good people, so many good causes. I wish I could do more.

On Saturday Daniel and I watched *On the Lord's Errand* for our date. We invited the kids who wanted to stay up to watch with us. I was touched by how time and again President Monson has been the Lord's instrument in serving others. I want to be better at that.

I feel like I am entering a new phase in life that will enable me to do more of this.

Yesterday, I was blessed to be on the Lord's errand.

In the beginning I was thinking about going to Visby early and just start knocking on doors where there seem to be apples ripe and just falling to the ground. I thought we can ask if they have excess and if we can pick apples. (our trees aren't ripe until October and our plums are done and there are hardly any pears this year). Then I thought about Eric Carlson. His wife died earlier this year. They are like the rock of our branck having been here and active for decades. Even when it was only them. I had long planned on visiting him with the kids during the warm season so the kids could run around outside but he could still have company. But summer was crazy and it never happened. He has apple and plum trees. And if they had as much fruit this year as he had last time I saw then he definantly has an excess. What if we go after I pick up the boys and give him some company. That felt right. So I called him. I wasn't excpecting that it was a bad fruit year. Nor that his apple tree is also an October one. But the wheels has started turning so I said we could come anyway and pick up the little that was on the ground. I thought maybe we can help him rake leaves or something. (Our leaves have started to fall and that is a chore the kids enjoy.) After getting of the phone I realized we will get hungry for dinner if we stay more then 1/2 hours. Yes! I can make dinner now and take it with us. I can share with him. He can have a cooked meal today!.

So I made pie crust and then made the filling for a taco pie. (kind of like a quiche). I just had enough time to cook it. He had also answered that he liked tomatos. So I grabbed all our tomatos that the kids had picked the other day. He could have as many as he wants. (More are growing). All the while I was thinking about how my grandpa is lonely and I can't visit him. Erics only child died as an infant so maybe we should adopt him as our grandpa. Not just at church on Sunday either.

It turned out great. He liked the pie and the company. I enjoyed it. And so did the kids. So now we will try to go back in a few days with Daniel this time. If we go earlier we can do some real service. (Yesterday he showed me around the yard. So now I have 3 things that he wants done that I know we can help with.) There were a few plums ripe and more should be then. So we will also pick some plums. :) He can't eat to many of them because of his diabetes.

I think I will try to visit him more often. He can be our grandpa here. And hopefully those who are able to visit my grandpa can do it there.

On the way home I was reminded of one of my favorite songs lately. *Have I done Any Good*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIeA_5yYgB4

I love this arrangement and music video I have watched it many times. It inspires me. My brain is full of ideas and my heart is full of desire. I hope that I can be stronger then the weakness of my flesh and that in the process I can teach my children the joy of serving others.
 

Deposits, Withdrawls, Investing: Budgeting Life Wisely

So when we think of a bank deposit we usually think of money. But I am realizing that everything in life has its own type of bank system and we either deposit or withdraw.

With the money, we understand that if we don't put money in, we can't take it out. Now in our society their is a borrowing system for money, and we pay interest when we use someone elses money to buy things for ourselves. You often pay much more in the long run. And if you get in the habbit of spending someone elses money you can acquire huge debts. You are a controlled by financial situation. A slave to paying bills. If you avoid this and only spend your own money you controll the money and it works for you instead of the other way around.

Obvious.

Well transfer the principles to other areas of life. Say physical health. (Since this is my major concern these days.) Just say the body is the bank account. Anytime we do anything it is a withdrawl. When we eat, drink water and sleep it is a deposit. Now Exersize is actually like an investment. You spend energy (your physical money) and if you do it wisely it  will have a good return. The best way for this investing, is compound investing, or regular investment of exersize.

If we neglect watching the overall balance then we can get in the negative for our health account. Then anytime we do make withdrawls it is more expensive because we are spending what we don't have!

For me, I think, I SHOULD be able to do this or that without getting tired, or my big one, a migraine, but I am on the red, so it is more expensive. So I am trying to make wise investments as I continue to make little deposits and withdrawls.

I am starting to intellectually get this, but my emotions are still stuck in the I should be able to do everything I want to do. Why can't I work all day?  Well I know I will get a migraine, and restless legs and short tempered, but I want to go go go.

Just like I am learning to budget my money better I need to budget my health better.
I can't withdraw the weeks energy for one day in the garden. Yes I can do it today, but what about tomorrow?

So I need to budget my energy. Don't give it all in one day. 15 minutes a half hour... drink water, and rest. When I rest I inadvertantly check my balance, then I realize how tired Í am and if I am up to more, if it is wise. Then if I am wise I will consult the weekly budget to see if I should keep going.

(This budget system applies to relationships with kids, spouse and more. Am I putting in the regular deposits to stay ahead and ivest against the difficult times that do come?)

whose?

So I am stealing the computer from the kids. If Joseph were in the room he would be mad at me, because he thinks that it should be his computer time but he has to wait for the Ella and Isak to take their turn and I got distracted starting it up. So I better not be long.

I have been writing blog entries in my head many times while lying in bed with a migraine, but I don't have the ability to stare at the screen during those times. I don't have a migraine right now... but I am actually worried one will come, since I slept so poorly last night. Another reason not to be long

Anyway, the point was a blog entry... right? But now that I am here I feel I am wasting time, because I can't think of anyof the profound entries I composed in my head over the last month.

Well, my brain is still on scratch so I m going to insert a link if you want some new words for scrabble not to mention an crazy vocabulary.

http://www.byutv.org/seethegood/post/On-the-tip-of-your-tongue.aspx

A new day

Today is a new day. I can actually sit at the computer (allbeit Adam is requiring me to hold him while I type and that puts strain on my aching hand arm bones and my migraine tension muscles. so I shouldn't do this much longer.) I was down with a 2 day migraine but it tapered off the rest of the way during the night. yeah. I feel good.

Today is Family Love Day (ie Valentine's Day with the focus on the whole families love). The plan is the Love throne wearing our crown and sharing what we love about each other, smoothies, and painting our family missionstatement key words.

I had hoped to make a small Valentine gift for each member, but that was before I was down for 2 days. So we will see. I mean, dishes are backed up and I still have to prepare meals. So I need to not expect too much of myself. The most important thing for me today is holding the Family Love Day tradition. So with that in mind I am going to make sure I know where the crown is. (I saw it two days ago so I hope it hasn't disapeared into the black hole again.)

Christmas is On!

Christmas Season is on! The kids and I took cookies to a couple families. We wore our santa hats and sang a Christmas song. Sweden doesn't have the carroling tradition so it felt weird when those at the second house didn't know how to respond to it, but it was still fun. (I think it goes better when Daniel is with us. So we will really go carroling another time walking around to our near neighbors.)

Next year we are planning to be in Utah for the Christmas season. We have decided that now so that we can save up and plan for it. We will try to get all my family there. Robert will be home from his mission at the beginning of the month so it is an ideal time. It has been six years since I have been home for it and if we work it right I think we will get Thanksgiving there to boot! Knowing that makes it easier to not be there this year and I also can focus on my little family even more since It will be a bit different then. The plans feel good. And I am excited for it but also glad to have this Christmas and all the wonder of being here.

It snowed on the first and every day since so the atmosphere is right as well. One thing I love about Sweden is all the Christmas curtains and tableclothes and stars etc. But I especially love the older prints, like the ones we got from Daniel's grandma. I haven't got them up yet but hope to do that tomorrow. Saturday we put up the tree and decorated it. Yesterday we found a few more ornaments and added them.

We also discovered that we now have 7 table santas! all second hand gifts. I caught  Ella playing with them like dolls. I almost told her to stop and then realized that it is part of letting Christmas be special. and who cares if a few of them don't make it. Just wait till I get batteries in the three that can sing!

The girls are constantly checking to see if any ornaments have fallen and re-decorating the lower branches.

Ella asked if I have any ornaments to put up today. She has started making paper ornaments! The candy cane in the middle is hers. She drew on pink stripes but the flash maximized the whiteness of the paper. Below is her tree. It took her a long time. A lot of cutting and taping. I am going to have to buy more tape before birthdays and christmas gifts can all be wrapped. ;)

All the kids want us too find candy canes to hang on the tree. (so they are not as common here and it is only red and white ones that you find. none with the green and definately not the pelithera of flavors in the states. Which is probably just as well. I know all the christmas candy and goodies aren't good for you, but I love it. I love making fudge and trying different variations. But maybe this year I will do more Christmas crafts since Daniel is trying to get me cut back on the sweets. We are supposed to be on a no sugar cleansing diet but we kind of crashed it lately and since we ran out of the pills with it and it is Christmas season I don't have my heart in it. We did it three months, just didn't get to the homeopath to follow up and see if we were done. Then it was Thanksgiving and we ran out and well... I don't know exactly what I should think of it now. But that isn't what this is about.)

 

Every day, the kids get a little chocolate out of an advent calander that Daniel got from his family on his mission (or first year at BYU?). We saved the plastic molds from the box ones we got after Christmas last year and I melted chocolate and used those this year. Chocolate molds are not so common here either. It makes me wish I had kept mine from before (I loved making chocolates for my friends back in my school days) but then again you can't buy all the various chocolates for melting as easy either. I don't know where to look for it and even if I did it would probably be out of my budget. So it is just as well I don't have them.

Anyway, I am stopping writing so I can actually put some pictures with this entry. Then I will give in to Adam and go to bed. (He only wants to sleep if I am with him. Sometimes we can get him to sleep a little in the bouncer in the day, but not in the evening or at night.)

how is it going with the house renovations? Read and findout

Well it has been a while since I have said much about our progress on the house. This year has been a lot more limited in progress compared to last year. I mean what can compare to all the helpers and the beautiful new roof?

But this year has had some progress as well. Mostly they are little improvements mostly for organization or functionality. Like a shelf and rod for the closet in the hall to be a functioning coat closet. A few new shelves built in in some strategic places, etc. And much of that was either made possible or inspired by the visits from Daniel's mom as she helped out when Kathryn's pregnancy impeded the regular family rutines.

This last month also brought a big improvement for one of the worst eyesores of the house. The walls for the stairs going up to the bedrooms. With the visit from Robert and Sigrid and Sigrids determination we now have a smooth white wall there instead of the horrible torn up red, black, brown mess that was there, but didn't want to come down without special steamer tools that you can't use if kids are running around..... We love it. It is fresh, clean and light!

With all the improvements, from the beginning to now we went ahead and re-evaluated our home this last week. And now our home is worth more than our house loans!

Thank You to all our helpers! Family, friends and missionarries, our quality of life is greatly indebted to you.


We will now be able to move the renovation loan into our house loan. (thus a better interest rate) and we will take out a new renovation loan so we can continue with the bathroom and the fascade. (followed with a new re-evaluation.) Right now we are working on the details of these financial adjustments. By time we are done with the planned improvements from this new loan our house should have a better curb appeal, a functioning toilet and a shower upstairs, plus still have house loans less than 85% of the houses value.

Now we just need to set it all up and be sticklers with the details. Some of the problems we have run into with projects are related to the fact that the house is old and to try to bring it up in standard we have to solve a lot of unforseen problems. (this is why the bathroom still isn't done.) But the current plan is to use some of this loan to hire in a professional to take care of the tricky carpentry as well as the code issues of plumbing and electricity. The person we are talking with for carpentry right now is saying Marchish. So maybe by summer time we will have the next re-evaluation done.

If we can cut costs enough along the way, then our reward is a new dishwasher. That is inncentive. Really. The old dishwasher is out... and I am remembering how hard it is to wash dishes when a new baby wakes up with in two minutes of lying him down. So, not only can I look forward to crossing the hall from my room to shower, but I can also anticipate a faster and easier time doing the dishes! Oh the convenience of it all!

(Back to the baby who wakes up if I lay him down. Well, you can type, sort-of, with a little one in your arms. But my back is killing, so I think I will close this entry.)